“It Was Just One Loss”: Why Pregnancy Loss Is Never Just Anything
The Myth: “You’re Overreacting. It Was Just One Loss.”
If you’ve experienced pregnancy loss, you may have heard this phrase or felt it in the silence of others who didn’t know what to say. The thing is with this myth, it minimises the reality of grief. It’s almost as if suggesting your pain is too much and that your response is too big. But here’s the truth: pregnancy loss, no matter when it happens, impacts us physically, emotionally, and neurologically.
What the Research Really Shows
Science also validates this because pregnancy loss is not small.
A study published in the American Journal of Obstetrics and Gynecology found that 1 in 3 people who experienced an early pregnancy loss showed symptoms of post-traumatic stress just one month later (Farren et al., 2019).
Pregnancy loss is strongly linked to anxiety, depression, and even PTSD, regardless of how “early” the loss was.
Grief doesn’t follow timelines. The nervous system doesn’t measure impact by gestational age, it responds to the reality of attachment and loss.
This isn’t “overreacting.” It’s your body processing a really human experience.
The Nervous System’s Response to Loss
When loss occurs, the nervous system interprets it as trauma. This can look like:
Hypervigilance or anxiety
Difficulty sleeping
Emotional numbness or disconnection
Flashbacks or intrusive thoughts
These are normal, embodied responses to a very impactful trauma.
Why Words Matter: Ending the Silence Around Loss
Phrases like “just one loss” or “you can try again” though dismiss this lived experience of grief. And it can really just end up making the one experiencing the miscarriage, shame and isolation when what’s really needed is validation and support.
Pregnancy loss is not a blip and its not anyone’s fault. It’s a life event that reshapes the nervous system, identity, and often, relationships.
If you’re feeling anxious, disconnected, or overwhelmed after loss, you are not broken. You are human.
You’re not being dramatic. You’re responding to something real and you deserve support.
A Gentle Resource for Healing After Loss
To support you in reconnecting with your body after pregnancy loss, I’ve created a free, trauma-informed resource:
A breath and grounding audio practice designed for moments of overwhelm
A nervous system reset tool to help you gently regulate and restore safety
Remember
Pregnancy loss is never “just” anything. Even one loss impacts your body, mind, and heart and ALL are allowed to grieve. So if you’ve ever been told to “move on” or felt dismissed in your grief, know this: you’re not alone. And healing begins with listening to what your body already knows: this mattered.