Can long-distance relationships really work?

Because, I’m sure we’ve all got an opinion.

Here’s my view and what’s worked for me.

Look, it’s not ideal. But let me tell you. 

My husband and I very quickly went into long distance.

Being in International Development, his work required him to travel a LOT when we were dating.

Friends shared their concern. 

But actually, it was what I needed.

When we first met, I was still finishing a PhD.

A lab-based PhD that required me to collect

placenta samples, culture (grow) cells at unsociable hours, weekends, bank holidays. 

Making time for a very face-to-face relationship at that time was very difficult.

However, we both count those initial long distance year

(it started out as 6-weeks, turned into 6 months…and then some!)

as the time we grew closer together. 

We weren’t seeing each other everyday

but due to the time differences, we were speaking to each other daily,

sometimes twice a day. 

I have often heard people talk about not knowing a person’s true character

until they go through challenge or hardship. I believe there is an element of truth in that. 

Yes, you can get to know someone.

But truly, the depth of their character, the strength,

resilience and courage often shines through in those moments. 

A long-distance relationship / marriage has not been easy. 

It’s been trying. 

There have been very low lows.

And yet, with each challenge, it’s helped us grow stronger.

It’s also brought so many opportunities that I could never have imagined. 

So…

Can all long-distance relationships work?

Or all destined to fail?

It’s really not a simple answer.

What I would say is trust your intuition when it comes to making the choice.

I’ve had times when a long-distance

relationship wouldn’t have been the right decision and it was only years later, I realised it.

It will depend on both parties.

It will depend on how willing both parties are to communicate and be vulnerable with each other.

But can it work?

Yes, absolutely.