Namaste | from Ananya
I used to think by the time I’d turn 25, I’d have all my stuff together…or at least the majority of it…
I’d know exactly where I was going, when I’d be making it happen and living happily ever after.
What’s evident is that I really don’t have the answers to all or most of life’s burning questions.
But if there’s one thing about life that I have learnt, is that it loves to throw you the unexpected and then watch how you cope.
Embracing uncertainty is something that I’ve long struggled with.
Many of my friends don’t share my concern about the 25 milestone; for them it’s just another number.
I ask myself, is it because I’m Indian, be it a British born one?
At 25, my mother was married and was running after me, a then quiet yet, inquisitive toddler. Recently, cousins getting married have also meant the inevitable; interrogation from Indian relatives about my forthcoming wedding I seem to know nothing about! And let’s not forget their other concerns:
“Which country will Ana settle in?”
“Is this the area she wants to focus in?”
“But…. what is she going to DO AFTER this?”
In other words, the only question I’m really asked at the moment, is:
‘When are you sorting out your life?’
Believe you me, I ask myself the same question all the time.
Deep down I know that turning 25 soon is nothing to worry about.
The uncertainties of life will, in retrospect, prove themselves to have been a necessary lesson in faith, hope and perseverance. What once represented the scary unknown will, I’m sure, turn out to have been simply waiting to be beautifully unmasked.
But at the same time, the prospect of turning 25 has also been a cause for reflection.
No longer do I want to put off learning new skills thinking,:
‘I can learn later’ or ‘there’s plenty of time’
No longer do I want to use the excuse:
‘I’m doing a PhD, I don’t have time to do this’ – there’s always time for priorities.
No longer do I want to allow myself to feel ‘bad’ when I’m pressed to answer any variation of the question:
‘What are you doing with your life? How is that even relevant?’
As I remind myself,
We can go seeking enlightenment, happiness and peace of mind externally in a variety of places; be it in the form of people, possessions or maybe even food.
But really, the combination that would unlock the mystical key would be within ourselves all along.
I could answer the questions above countless times, each with a different answer.
But the only time it would really make any sort of difference would be the time I answer for myself.
Though honestly, I can’t say which country I’ll settle in or pinpoint exactly what a typical working day will look for me in 5 years, I do know this.
I know my interests and the causes I’m passionate about. Having a number of passions though can complicate matters and can often make it seem next to impossible to form a coherent and logistical plan.
What has been most important for me to address is that in order to get from where I am to where I want to be requires facing a lot of fears.
Last year, I took a small conscious step in witnessing my fears; this year I want to delve a little deeper and try and tackle a few more each day.
Which brings me onto the blog.
Though it was such a pleasure to watch the support for The Asian Destination grow and to be not only nominated AND shortlisted for the Cosmopolitan Blog Awards made my year. I realised I wanted to contribute to a website with more honesty, whilst maintaining the essence of myself.
So, for 2015, I invite you to visit namastefromananya.com
A personal lifestyle blog; an honest take on being British Indian Bengali.
Feel free to join me as I try and sort my stuff out…at least a little bit more than last year by facing a fear everyday.
For now,
Namaste | from Ananya xo
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